Pilot Post

I'm sitting in the Barnes and Noble cafe blasting Daugherty and thinking about why exactly I wanted to start (another) blog. I need a place where I can be creative, be free, and think for myself. So often I let other people think for me. Once again, I'm making another resolution that this is NO MORE... but like I said, it is "one again"...
I'm crazy over this new novel. It's everything I've ever wanted to do, and the exact story I want to tell. It's crazy, right? Crazy that I'm so crazy over this one idea, this one novel.
It's all I can think about. It's all I can write about. I take breaks at work just to write these ideas down. A simple plot has gone into a more complicated plot, and so on and so forth.

But with all this craziness comes the fear - the fear of sharing this idea for fear that people will judge, people will say it's not good, people will say that it's not moral enough for them.
Does it matter what people think?
I am a people pleaser, so yes, to me it matters a lot. The funny thing is, you can be so scared of rejection, and then after it happens it feels freeing. For example, recently through a series of circumstances, I had someone reject me. I didn't do anything wrong, yet she rejected me. We went from "best friends" to never speaking overnight. What she did to me was the best thing in the world. Now I've been slapped in the face with the truth -

Rejection is not your fault

If someone rejects you, that is THEIR choice, and if you have not wronged them, then it is not your fault. Ever. Please remember that.

My Novel Idea
So what I want to do is I want to take real life a merge it into fantasy. My main character is a suicidal cutter by the name of Ava. What she doesn't know is that her mother is a runaway pixie from Ireland. This makes her part pixie by birth. Her uncle, Finn, finds her and tells her mother to tell her the truth of who she is. This throws her into the battle between the pixies and the Cahal (could go into a lot more detail on them, but won't for the purposes of this short essay), as she is really royalty. She will learn why cutting makes her feel good, but will also feel the consequences of choosing a lifestyle like that.
Is it going to be dark? Yes, yes, it will be. Cutting is a very dark subject, but it's an issue that needs to be addressed. Jesus didn't hang out with the religious, he hung out with the sinners. I don't need to write a happy christian book, there are enough of those. But are there books that reach out and offer hope, help, and encouragement to people who deal with the dark demons of self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
I've been there, done that, and I wish that when I was going though it there was a book I could read to give me insight and wisdom.

Feedback is not necessary unless you have something positive to say. Remember in the movie Bambi what Thumper's mother said? "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all!".

Cheers!
L Finch