Did I mention...

That I would also be using this blog for a little bit of brainstorming? So here it goes!

1) I have the outline all mapped out fully. With around 80 cards, I'm right on count for about a 40 chapter book.
2) I have no fears that this book will get written.
3) I do, however, fear for the quality of writing contained in this book. And this blog, for that matter
4) I think fear of this is holding me back from some real writing
5) Is anyone even reading this? lol
6) I'm afraid that 2-3 captures and dramatic rescues might be too much for one book. Boo!!!
7) I need to get a firmer grasp on my two main people groups, the Pixies and the Cahal.
8) I think a Lord of the Rings Marathon might help with the whole writing process... that theory remains to be untested... lol. And on that note, if you want to get me anything for xmas - get this. And you think I'm joking don't you. No, I'm so serious.
9) I need to finish my James Patterson book before it's due at the library.
10) And it's off to work I go!

Cheers!
L Finch

Debating...

If I want to take a run this morning. I think NOT. At least, not right now. Has any of you people's heard of The Artist's Way? It's a very interesting idea. The goal is to write three pages of long hand each morning before you start your actual writing for the day. It's a way to be honest with yourself and verbalize what's been troubling you, or what's been making you happy. It's also a way to silence your inner critic. The author points out that it's also a way to solve your problems, beacuse you can only whine so long on paper about your problems before you decide to take action. I would also like to point out that it looks like the author is a new-age-guru, so exercise caution when reading her website please.

Cheers!
L Finch

Pilot Post

I'm sitting in the Barnes and Noble cafe blasting Daugherty and thinking about why exactly I wanted to start (another) blog. I need a place where I can be creative, be free, and think for myself. So often I let other people think for me. Once again, I'm making another resolution that this is NO MORE... but like I said, it is "one again"...
I'm crazy over this new novel. It's everything I've ever wanted to do, and the exact story I want to tell. It's crazy, right? Crazy that I'm so crazy over this one idea, this one novel.
It's all I can think about. It's all I can write about. I take breaks at work just to write these ideas down. A simple plot has gone into a more complicated plot, and so on and so forth.

But with all this craziness comes the fear - the fear of sharing this idea for fear that people will judge, people will say it's not good, people will say that it's not moral enough for them.
Does it matter what people think?
I am a people pleaser, so yes, to me it matters a lot. The funny thing is, you can be so scared of rejection, and then after it happens it feels freeing. For example, recently through a series of circumstances, I had someone reject me. I didn't do anything wrong, yet she rejected me. We went from "best friends" to never speaking overnight. What she did to me was the best thing in the world. Now I've been slapped in the face with the truth -

Rejection is not your fault

If someone rejects you, that is THEIR choice, and if you have not wronged them, then it is not your fault. Ever. Please remember that.

My Novel Idea
So what I want to do is I want to take real life a merge it into fantasy. My main character is a suicidal cutter by the name of Ava. What she doesn't know is that her mother is a runaway pixie from Ireland. This makes her part pixie by birth. Her uncle, Finn, finds her and tells her mother to tell her the truth of who she is. This throws her into the battle between the pixies and the Cahal (could go into a lot more detail on them, but won't for the purposes of this short essay), as she is really royalty. She will learn why cutting makes her feel good, but will also feel the consequences of choosing a lifestyle like that.
Is it going to be dark? Yes, yes, it will be. Cutting is a very dark subject, but it's an issue that needs to be addressed. Jesus didn't hang out with the religious, he hung out with the sinners. I don't need to write a happy christian book, there are enough of those. But are there books that reach out and offer hope, help, and encouragement to people who deal with the dark demons of self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
I've been there, done that, and I wish that when I was going though it there was a book I could read to give me insight and wisdom.

Feedback is not necessary unless you have something positive to say. Remember in the movie Bambi what Thumper's mother said? "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all!".

Cheers!
L Finch

Our Issues

Today was a good day. I got most of the outline story-boarded and completed. I then proceeded to write about a paragraph out of the middle that I plan to go add more onto after I finish here. I’m also compiling (in my head) songs that pertain to my MC, or songs that she would listen to. Pretty depressing if you ask me, I had to haul out Linkin Park for a couple of songs. Poor girl, she’s pretty messed up, and she will be messed up for the majority of the book.

Aren’t we all messed up in some way or another though? We have our addictions, (money, cutting, shopping, sex), we live through our lies, crave approval, shun those who really care, and curse the one who died for us. The only thing that separates us is if we embrace our failures and try to change, or if we lie to ourselves and run away from who we really are.

As Christians we hopefully have embraced the knowledge of at least most of our sin, the lying, the stealing, the anger, the fear. But what if we don’t embrace it? What if we deny it’s existence?

The only thing that comes from this is more pain to yourself and pain to others, sometimes physical, sometimes mental. Unfortunately, it’s going to be real-life for my heroine as she chooses to learn the hard way time and time again.

But isn’t that real life for most of us? Instead of trusting those who love us, instead of focusing on how we can grow, change, even adapt, we focus on others and point the finger. “He shouldn’t shut me out of his life,” she snaps, “She shouldn’t spend so much money” he growls.

The worst is when we think our problem helps us. We think that ripping movies off the Internet is a “okay because I don’t have money for the movie” and that being anorexic is “okay because I need to be pretty for the guys” and “I need to cut to feel alive”. Or even “sex before marriage makes me feel good, so it’s okay”. We think that our problems help us. My heroine, Ava, (working name) has to learn that her cutting not only ultimately hurts herself, but also hurts others, and just like in the real world, her cutting has some serious consequences.

Just like Ava’s addiction, our sin carries with it serious consequences.

So that’s a little bit of what I’ve been working on for the past few months.

Cheers!