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Monday, November 22, 2010

Our Issues

Today was a good day. I got most of the outline story-boarded and completed. I then proceeded to write about a paragraph out of the middle that I plan to go add more onto after I finish here. I’m also compiling (in my head) songs that pertain to my MC, or songs that she would listen to. Pretty depressing if you ask me, I had to haul out Linkin Park for a couple of songs. Poor girl, she’s pretty messed up, and she will be messed up for the majority of the book.

Aren’t we all messed up in some way or another though? We have our addictions, (money, cutting, shopping, sex), we live through our lies, crave approval, shun those who really care, and curse the one who died for us. The only thing that separates us is if we embrace our failures and try to change, or if we lie to ourselves and run away from who we really are.

As Christians we hopefully have embraced the knowledge of at least most of our sin, the lying, the stealing, the anger, the fear. But what if we don’t embrace it? What if we deny it’s existence?

The only thing that comes from this is more pain to yourself and pain to others, sometimes physical, sometimes mental. Unfortunately, it’s going to be real-life for my heroine as she chooses to learn the hard way time and time again.

But isn’t that real life for most of us? Instead of trusting those who love us, instead of focusing on how we can grow, change, even adapt, we focus on others and point the finger. “He shouldn’t shut me out of his life,” she snaps, “She shouldn’t spend so much money” he growls.

The worst is when we think our problem helps us. We think that ripping movies off the Internet is a “okay because I don’t have money for the movie” and that being anorexic is “okay because I need to be pretty for the guys” and “I need to cut to feel alive”. Or even “sex before marriage makes me feel good, so it’s okay”. We think that our problems help us. My heroine, Ava, (working name) has to learn that her cutting not only ultimately hurts herself, but also hurts others, and just like in the real world, her cutting has some serious consequences.

Just like Ava’s addiction, our sin carries with it serious consequences.

So that’s a little bit of what I’ve been working on for the past few months.



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