With this blog I hope to inspire people to live out their full authentic selves, no matter what other people might tell them is or is not appropriate. Follow me for noveling helps and articles about how to live your life freely and openly.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Shoulds

"What's a should? A "reason" your ego uses in order to try to whip you into shape, writer-shape. But they never work. The ego never has good ideas for writers. Shoulds almost always send writers down the wrong path. The ego is scared of losing its job. It has to exist. Writing, however, is driven by the unconscious mind, a part of self the ego has no control over. That freaks it out. Writers steer by wonder and desire. This is the opposite of should."- Heather Sellers, Chapter After Chapter
This book has been so amazing that I just had to share this quote with you all. I think that I live with a lot of "shoulds". Don't we all? We "should" do housework before we write, we "should" spend more time with others then with writing, we "should" be involved in 500 extra curricular activities, we "should" write a book that makes our parents proud, etc.
Shoulds are killers.

Here's the thing. I've been feeling like I "should" write a book on cutting, because it's in my history, so to speak. But if I had my way, I'd write my fantasy story, and make it mine... it would be a beautiful fantasy.

I think I can do it, too.

But it's very scary to leave the "shoulds" behind. They're like a comfortable area, something to hold onto. "shoulds" are very protective... very comforting. As long as you live within the "shoulds" of society, then you have nothing to fear. But you also have nothing to gain.

Think about it. What "shoulds" are you holding onto? Moreso, what are the shouldn'ts that we are so attached to?

I should write this book for my mother/husband/sister
I should write this article so that people will feel proud of me
I shouldn't write that sex scene, it would be improper
I shouldn't write that edgy scene, it could be taken the wrong way

So now, what should(n'ts) are you holding onto?
Let go of them, and learn how to swim in the ocean of your novel unhindered.

Cheers,
L Finch
PS. And buy a copy of Chapter After Chapter by Heather Sellers. You won't regret it!

2 comments:

Emily Rittel-King said...

I've been dwelling on "shoulds" too much these days. Whenever I do, my voice is lost behind what I think I should write instead of what I want to write. I appreciate your wisdom and Heather's quote. Thanks!

Liz Finch said...

Emily, I don't claim to have any of this so called "wisdom" lol, but I'm glad you got something out of this post. :) Cheers!

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